Lapidot & Other SU Stories
by AstroPrincess
Summary: Oneshots from the world of Steven Universe. Features Lapidot!
1. Lapidot 1: The Silver Lining

"NOOOO . . ." Peridot screeched, drumming her gravity connectors on the chair cushion.

"Eh," Lapis said, standing up from her chair to stand in front of the television, only partially blocking out the words "to be continued." As the credits for _Camp Pining Hearts_ rolled onto the screen, she turned it off.

Peri was tiring of her tantrum and was now pouting, fists clenched and bottom lip bared. Her hands flew up to her spiky, green hair and tugged at the strands. "No, no, no, no . . ." she muttered as she paced the "loft" of the barn. Lapis was sure she was going to wear a hole in the floor. She stalked up to her, planting her bare feet in Peri's path.

The distraught peridot didn't look up until her feet were nearly touching Lapis's. She craned her neck, looking up, up, up until her gaze met the other gem's blue one, serious as ever.

Lapis placed her hand on her shoulders, and though she didn't say anything, Peri had gotten good at reading her face. The determined set to her mouth, the indifferent swoop of her nose, the expression that pooled in her dark eyes. _It will be okay,_ she imagined her saying. _Everything will be okay._

"Thank you," Peri whispered, mouth dry. Instinctively, she ran her small pink tongue over her lips, heart pounding.

She reached up, standing on her toes, wanting, _needing_ , to get closer, but even with Lapis ducking her head, she wasn't quite tall enough . . . but if she had the leg enhancers Steven had given her, perhaps she might be . . .

"Just a moment," she murmured, hurriedly, starting to pull away — before Lapis scooped her up, pressing their foreheads together. Their shallow, quick breaths mingling, Peri could feel the delicate balance they held on the line between desire and doubt. She could feel the electricity crackling between them. She could feel the moment her long-suppressed urge won out.

Peri slid her arms around Lapis's neck and pressed her lips to hers, taking the other gem by surprise. Her shock didn't last long though, and soon her grip on Peri's waist tightened, and she was responding to the sensation of her roommate's mouth on hers.

Sinking down onto the floor, feeling Lapis's warm body pressing into her own, giving in to the feeling that was love, Peri couldn't remember what had made her so upset to begin with. Whatever it was, she was grateful for it now.


	2. An Encounter at Sea

Horror crashed into Lapis as she realized what exactly was shaking the boat. No, not what. Who.

A strong, orange arm, the color washed out in the dim light, had thrown itself assertively over the railing. Jasper catapulted herself over the metal bars, and there she stood, Lapis' captive and her tormentor, her enemy and her ally. She stood there, a nightmare come to life, that familiar maniacal gleam in her eyes.

"Finally," Jasper growled, and Steven, who Lapis had forgotten about in her distress, stepped forward, protecting her with his shield.

 _Go away!_ Lapis thought, quivering, but she was too shocked and terrified to say anything. Jasper wouldn't let Steven protect her. She knew what she wanted, and what she wanted was Lapis. She wouldn't stop until they fused, and Lapis knew better than anyone that Steven didn't need to give Jasper any more reason to shatter him.

Jasper was snarling at Steven, like a rabid wolf, but he – valiant, brave, stupid Steven – wouldn't move away, defending Lapis though she knew she had done nothing to deserve it. Jasper snapped, seizing Steven's arm and throwing him across the deck, and the pure worry that the action sparked in Lapis was what finally snapped her out of her daze. She moved to run to him, but Jasper snatched her wrist, swinging her around to look at her. Jasper fell to her knees with an earth-shaking thud, trapping Lapis' hand in both of her large, meaty ones.

"Let's be Malachite again," she begged, even as lightning flared and thunder crashed. Lapis was once more rendered frozen, not entirely sure whether this was real or not. Every day since Malachite had been broken apart, she had thanked each and every star for Steven and the Crystal Gems for saving her from her prison. Sometimes she felt guilty for the trouble she had put them through, knowing that she had been both prisoner and prison warden, the powerless and the powerful, and together – she shuddered even thinking that word – she and Jasper had done so much damage.

Lapis was broken inside. She knew it because Steven was whole, whole and beautiful, and she was nothing like him. And though she would have liked to blame Jasper, she knew it was not entirely her fault. The damage had started much earlier than her. But as terribly bad as Malachite had been, there were also moments when she was terribly good, when power filled her to the brim, and uncertainty was a thing of the past. That power had gone to Jasper's head, and for a while it had gone to Lapis' too.

"Why would you want that?" she gasped, though she knew the answer. Jasper had enjoyed the cage Lapis had made for her. She loved the chaos that they had created.

"I was wrong about fusion. You made me understand! Malachite was bigger and stronger than both of us. We could fly!" Desperation and a twisted wonder burned in Jasper's eyes, were heavy in her words. And despite herself, Lapis felt an urge to give in and fuse. After all, Jasper _needed_ her. Who else would ever need – let alone want – her, a worthless and broken gem?

Then the answer was shouted at her. "Lapis! Don't listen to her!" Steven called, and she could hear the pleading in his voice.

"Stay out of this!" Jasper snapped, springing to her feet. The violent mood swing was just another reminder. They never stopped coming.

"I was terrible to you," Lapis said, biting her lip. The wind buffeted her hair. "I liked taking everything out on you." The words welled up from a hidden place inside of her, a dark place, and slipped from her mouth. They were a confession. "I needed you, I hated you." She loathed the desperation in her voice. "It was bad!" And as inadequate as the words were, they were true. They were true, and they were her lifeline among the lies.

"It'll be better this time, I've changed! You've changed me! I'm the only one who can handle your kind of power. Together we'll be unstoppable!" Jasper advanced on her, holding her hands out imploringly. The conviction was clear in her voice. She believed what she was saying, and it made Lapis feel sick. She backed away, hitting the cabin wall behind her. There was nowhere left to run, no more chances for escape.

Over Jasper's round, powerful shoulder, Lapis met Steven's gaze, his eyes dark with worry.

He had protected her. He had released her from the mirror, healed her gem, tried to save her on Peridot's hand ship, comforted her when she was sad and given her a place to stay after the Crystal Gems released her from Malachite. Steven loved her, and that was more than Jasper could ever give her.

Steven loved her, and that was all that she needed.

"NO!" she cried. The word was ripped from her lungs. She had held it in for a long time, longer than Jasper had been here, on this boat. She had buried it from that moment on the beach, green fire turning her skin turquoise, when she had accepted Jasper's hand, ignoring Steven's cries.

"What?" Jasper exploded, her face filling Lapis' field of vision.

"What we had wasn't healthy! I never want to feel what I felt with you. Never again. So just go!"

"Lapis!" Jasper burst, but before she could say anything else, Steven interrupted.

"She said no! Leave her alone!" he said fiercely, though he had every reason to be afraid.

Jasper turned to him, and Lapis could see the fury welling up in her. "This is your fault." The anger was straining in her voice. "I'll shatter you!" She ran at Steven, who's eyes were wide and shocked.

And Lapis _reacted_.

Water tore through the deck, throwing Jasper off the boat. She went so high and far that Lapis lost sight of her solid orange form against the dark clouds.

Then she stared at the column of water, shocked. She, the gem who was worthless in a fight, had crafted a fist out of saltwater, and saved Steven.

But what surprised her the most was that she had saved herself.

She had protected herself against her terrors. She had refused Jasper. And she had done it _all on her own._

"Lapis, you did it!" Steven exclaimed, wrapping his warm arms around her waist. The pride and the happiness in his voice made her smile. _I love this boy,_ she thought. And for the first time in a long time, she felt peace, and happiness.


	3. Lapidot 2: True Beauty

Earth was beautiful. It had months since Lapis had decided to stay here, in Beach City, but she still could not believe that this was her new home. Steven had told her that lots of humans liked to look at the stars, but those held too many bad memories for both her and Peridot. So instead, they sat on top of the silo and looked down, rather than up. They saw the short, squat barn and the square plot of crops. They saw the sprawling forest, leaves bright and brittle, mostly littering the ground by now. They saw the distant lights of Beach City. Lapis liked to pretend that she could see the shine of the ocean in the distance, though she knew, logically, that they were too far away. And if she closed her eyes, she could see Empire City, an ecosystem of concrete and steel, straight and square and unnatural, but eternally awake and eternally light. It glowed with life, and she remembered, with particular fondness, how that light had caught on the sleek darkness of the water.

Peridot lightly touched Lapis' elbow, and she opened her eyes, seeking out Peri's shape among the dark folds of the night.

"Lazuli – I mean, Lapis," she hastily corrected herself. She sounded nervous.

"Yes?"

The shorter gem cleared her throat. Knotted her fingers together. "You know – you know I care about you, right?"

Lapis nodded, glad the lack of light hid her blush. She felt something for Peridot that she had never felt for anyone else before. She had been Lapis' enemy, then her grudging ally, then her friend . . . and then, of course, the love of her life. She had never said those words out loud, and even in her own head, she thought them quietly. She was proud of the progress she had made, refusing Jasper's demand of fusion, on that boat weeks ago, but she was still far from perfect, and expressing her feelings was still hard.

"Do you . . . feel the same way?" Peridot sounded afraid, and desperate. Lapis wanted to hold her in her arms and wash that fear away, but her limbs wouldn't obey. The fear inside of her kept her from obeying.

Peridot was still waiting for an answer to her question. For one tiny word. Who would ever have thought it would be so hard to say?

Lapis buried her face in her hands. " _Yes_."

Peri exhaled audibly. She scooted closer on the rough surface of the roof, which was still warm from absorbing the sun's light all day. Now, as Peri came as close as a whisper, the temperature seemed to spike. She took Lapis' hands in her own, and pulled them away from her face.

Lapis looked at her then, her eyes still wide, her heart still pounding. Peri released one of her hands and removed the visor from her face, tucking it into her hair. Her eyes looked so much bigger and brighter and bolder without that buffer, and Lapis swallowed dryly. Without breaking eye-contact, Peri cradled Lapis' head with her free hand, and kissed her. It was a soft kiss, a gentle kiss. It took no more than Lapis was ready to give, and she loved Peri for that. She loved her. It was the first time she had freely admitted it to herself, and for the first time, it did not make her afraid. It did not make her anxious. Her broken brain was no longer making her life harder, and the pure relief made tears burn her eyes. Peri stopped kissing her as she tasted salt, but she didn't move away. She wiped away every single tear with the pad of her thumb, completing her task with the single-minded focus that had become so familiar. Then she sat back, her eyes soft with concern and what Lapis now recognized as love.

Who was she to deny Peridot happiness? Determination welled up in her. She would say it. She would. She opened her mouth, then became unsure of what to say.

"Peridot –"

Peri hushed her, perhaps seeing the internal conflict Lapis was going through. "You don't have to tell me anything right now. Anything." Her voice was stern, but underneath that, fragile.

"No, I do. I want to, I know I do." Lapis was fighting so hard right now.

"It's okay, it's okay," Peri murmured, embracing her, rubbing her back soothingly. Lapis mouthed the words against Peri's neck. She could do this. She could.

It dawned on Lapis then that Peri knew exactly how broken she was inside, and loved her despite of it. She was telling the truth when she said it was okay, that right now Lapis didn't have to say those three little words. But Peri deserved to hear those words, and that was a fact that Lapis couldn't argue with.

"Peri – I love you."

Peridot's breathing hitched. Her hand, still on Lapis' back, stopped moving. Two of her fingers were touching skin, and Lapis shivered.

"I . . . what?"

"I love you." The foreign taste of those words in her mouth was quickly fading, replaced by a rush of giddiness. "I love –"

Peridot cut her off, pressing her lips to hers, and Lapis responded enthusiastically, burying her hands into Peri's crazy hair and leaning into her slight body. Peri withdrew just as abruptly, and Lapis frowned, confused. She tried to lean back in, but Peri moved farther away. "Lapis. I love you too."

Lapis gasped, feeling the blood pound in her head. Her heart felt like it was going to explode, not having been made for such depth of feeling. And then they were kissing again, though she wasn't quite sure how they had gotten there. She could feel Peridot's pounding heartbeat under her fingers, and she thought then that nothing on Earth compared to the beauty of what she and Peri shared.

 **Author Note: It is my belief that Lapis would most likely deal with anxiety or some other mental health issue(s) following her experiences with Jasper and the other Homeworld gems. I am not an expert on these illnesses and am only writing from my own experiences. Please excuse any inaccuracies. Also keep in mind that the characters' opinions on mental illness do not match my own. Thank you.**


	4. Lapidot 3: Mirror Image

"Lapis, I love you." Peridot's eyes were wide and earnest.

"I love you too," Lapis replied, her voice soft. Peridot softened her up, like ice cream slightly-melted to perfection.

"I wouldn't ask this of you, but I love you and I don't want to separate from you ever again." Peri swallowed, and Lapis could see the nerves on her face. "Will you fuse with me?"

Her voice was sweet, so sweet, but Lapis' mind instantly flashed back to the moment when Jasper had asked her nearly the same question – no, it hadn't been a question, it had been a demand, and one she had obeyed.

 _The green fire cast an unnatural light on Jasper's face. The sand shifted beneath her feet, and she could hear Steven calling out to her, pleading._ Lapis, don't do it! _But faced with Jasper's fierce features, she knew she could not deny her. Her gut was twisting, and she felt like she might be sick, but she put her hand in Jasper's anyway, swallowing the taste of bile. Then came the fusion, and she felt like she was striving to keep herself intact_. Is this what fusion is supposed to be like? _she wondered._

Now she knew that despite her best efforts, she did lose part of herself.

"Lapis?" Peri's voice was concerned, and it brought Lapis back, back to the barn, back to her love, back to the most important question that had ever been asked of her.

She looked at Peridot then. At her eyes, rounded with worry, at her little cherry-full lips, at the cute snub nose that Lapis loved to kiss. Peridot was nothing like Jasper. Jasper was gone, and could never bother her again. Even if she could, Lapis knew how to handle herself now. Her new friends had taught her that she was capable of more than she ever would have thought for herself.

And Lapis had found love, something she never thought she would have. Thanks to Peridot, Lapis knew how to listen to her heart. She listened now, and heard what it said. Heard what she truly wanted.

So she took Peridot's hand in hers, and said, "Yes." It sounded like a promise.

The last thing she saw before the soft, warm light embraced them was Peri's face, radiant with joy, a reflection of her own.


End file.
